Do not get personal
Arguing with your spouse or partner can sometimes be inevitable – young children can be pretty wearing but exercise damage limitation by agreeing in advance that thought you might have argue over an issue, you don’t trade personal insults in front of the kids and family.
Encourage your partner Never vie with each other from the children’s affections, rather, observe the good things about your partner’s approach to parenting, and be ready to compliment them and to boost their confidence. Be self aware . Imagine that you had yourself as a parent. Would you be happy? Would you like you? What would you think were your strength and weakness?
Think about your friends. If I had to choose one couple to be your own parents, who would they be and why? You may be surprised by your choice. but think about it. Are you giving your child what those parents give theirs? Can you? Should you?
Encourage your partner to have some photo sessions with you and your kids. People can take photos with their phones easily these days but how many photos do you have all together? Most people don’t have many! You can always contact me to do your family portrait in Sydney!!
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Swap jobs. Surprise your kids by sometimes doing what they expect your partner to do, so they might find one day that Daddy is doing the school run and Mummy is asking them for help to build shelves. Taking on s task that your partner usually does can make for more equitable co-parenting.
Have one to one time. However many kids you have, try to give each one a little time alone with you. No two family relationships are the same, so children revel in getting Mummy, Daddy or another much-loved relative all to themselves. When the family is tired and fraught, it can be helpful to split up into more manageable teams.
Have one parenting approach. If Mum is very strict and Dad very lenient, or vice versa, kids get confused and behaviour tends to suffer. Bash out your differences in private so as to be able to give your your kids clear, coherent guidance.
Free your partner from parenting. Let them go on a short break with friends, take a course or just have a long lie-in ocasionally. Doing things all together as a family is great, but parents need their own time for work and play.
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Time for yourself
Have a nap. If you feel ratty and as though you just cant cope with your kids, try to snatch a nap. Even just a catnap – when you can. our good humour is far more likely to return after a revitalising rest. Children and sleep are certainly not bedfellows, so get into te habit of going to bed as early as possible.
Give yourself a break. Leave your children with someone you trust and have a little time to yourself. Even if you are only away from them for an hour or so, you will enjoy kids more when you return.
Fit a bolt (a small one would do)to the inside of your bedroom door so that, from time to time you can ensure a little parental privacy.
Nurture your spirit with whatever you have the opportunity and are not too tired.
This may not be often, but the more you and your partner enjoy each other’s minds and bodies, the better you will weather the challenges and share the joys of parenting together.
Use your head, if you are a full time parent, try to keep in the swim of adult life by reading, talking, taking courses or embarking on some home study.
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Explore the choices of available schools, however limited they may seem. Check out the school’s prospectus and website, read its latest report fro the educational insteps, consider its exam results if there are published – and most importantly find out what pupils and their parents think of it. Ask to tour the school on an open day or make a personal appointment to be show around. Write a list of whats important to you in a school to double check that what you have seen matched up to what you want.
Explain the difference between parents and teachers, make sure your child understands that is your job to show them how to behave properly and the teachers to tell them about interesting things, Make it clear that the teachers should not have to do your job.
Take some photos on the morning of the first day at school. Not only will it become a treasured piece of family history, but in making your child feel proud and special it will help them to square to do your job. Obviously, we can come to you and take photos of you children on their first day as well as family portrait, so you will remember that day.
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